Thank you to our dear friend, Allison Iantosca, for permitting us to share “Postcards from the Journey” from her book Leading with HEART. This passage resonates with our team as it beautifully sums up the imperfect dance between the client and the design team. So much of our job is delivering bad news and, like so much in life, it boils down to a trusting relationship and how we navigate the difficulties throughout the process.

I've been a parent for thirteen years. After a series of other character-building endeavors including age-appropriate collegiate shenanigans, two years of waitress-funded independence in the Pacific Northwest, a shabby-chic Boston North End condo purchase, and half an MBA, I found the man of my dreams, signed the pledge, and launched my progenitor career. Growth in the role has been slow and steady. A few setbacks, one or two moments of fantasy about a hut in Tahiti instead, but, for the most part, not bad. Sometimes paralyzing. Sometimes heartbreaking. Always crazy love. Always spiritually fundamental…kind of like a residential construction project wouldn’t you say?

Here are the parallels:

Step one. That initial excuse for renting a three-bedroom apartment because the walk-in closet fits a full-size bed (for the extra roommate), kind of, has been upgraded (along with you) into a three-story Victorian in a suburb of Boston. Now we’re getting serious. A leaking faucet and a failed kitchen triangle are no longer the fault of the degenerate landlord…because you are the degenerate landlord.

Step two. Find the design-build team and, yup, get hitched. Perfectly matched? Well, we’re going to make a mess. And sometimes we’ll think we are all totally on the same page, but you’ll be thinking that the fact that we made a mess means we don’t understand you and we’ll be thinking that the fact that we made a mess means we are totally committed to you so what’s the big deal anyway?

Step three. You’ll decide that you want this over and you want to move to Tahiti or you want us to move to Tahiti…but someone is moving. Today. That’s it. We’re done. This is too hard. How did anyone think this was a good idea in the first place?

Step four. Something miraculous happens. It’s beautiful and meaningful. Everything you poured your heart into becomes tangible and real. it matters. It’s a truth. you can brag about it and toast to it and act like it was no big deal just your continued luck in life…sweat, sweat, sweat, breath, breath, breath.

Love, love, love. Always. Because the things that do matter in life we want to run to and run from constantly. Isn’t it funny? I think it’s because we don’t want to fail. We don’t want our kids to fail. I don’t want my clients to feel failure. Idealism holds our brains captive, and we are unforgiving of the natural human process of growth, discomfort, and downright ugly days. It’s okay.

We like the humanity of our work. The idealism. And the commitment to other people as mad and as tragic as we all may be. It’s why any of us were able to live in that three bedroom with five roommates to begin with. Because love is crazy and because sometimes we start things that are so terrifyingly profound we must simply believe in each other.

Thirteen years down…a lot more to go.

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February 28 2019 - Allison Iantosca is the President of F.H. Perry Builder.

"Running To and Running From"