How to Be a Good Guest
“Every house guest brings you happiness. Some when they arrive, some when they are leaving.” - Confucius
Whether attending a dinner party or staying as a guest in a friend’s home, acquitting oneself graciously will always keep you in good company. Likely it will merit a return invitation. How does one cultivate a reputation as a good guest?
Dane offers his top suggestions:
“Always respond promptly to invitations. Showing courtesy and appreciation are primary,” says Dane. “If I’m staying for the weekend, I always let my hosts know when I’m arriving and when I’m leaving out of consideration for their schedule. Try to make it as effortless as possible for your hosts. And of course, never arrive empty-handed.” Starting the visit off well begins with a gracious response….a written invitation should involve a nice note back, a verbal invitation can be replied to much less formally whether through a phone call or in person.
THE QUINTESSENTIAL GUEST
“I like to think of myself as the quintessential guest,” says Dane. “I arrive on time, usually with a bottle of wine or a small gift, and always do my best to make everyone feel at ease. I try to be helpful without being obtrusive. I’m always mindful of what I appreciate about guests in my own home. I also try to communicate my appreciation for the little touches - whether fresh flowers or a bottle of Pellegrino. Whatever it is, I make sure to note my pleasure at these small gestures.”
It goes without saying, respect your hosts, their home, and personal space. Common sense rules apply: knock before entering, bring your cocktail to the sink when finished, offer assistance after dinner. Take your cues from the surroundings: when in Rome, do as the Romans do...
When there are health considerations, let the hosts know in advance. The less disruptive a guest can be, the more pleasant the overall visit will be. Don’t rely too heavily on hosts to supply entertainment or travel arrangements, unless agreed upon in advance. Being self-sufficient goes a long way. And, make arrangements to pick-up the dinner bill before your hosts have a chance.
“Good guests are good sports. They’re polite, they mingle, and they’re fun,” says Dane. That goes for family, too. Sometimes family members forget to act like guests when they are in our homes. Our advice: keep it light and enjoyable. Family gatherings are not the best time to indulge in squabbles or bring up negative feelings from the past.
Finally, when it’s time to leave, thank the hosts and depart. Nothing is worse than overstaying one’s welcome. Bottom line: make your hosts grateful they invited you. A follow-up thank-you note is always appreciated. Even better is a small package that arrives shortly after your departure with a candle, specialty soaps, truffles, or monogrammed towels. Little gestures go a long way.